A few days ago, in the Magnificat, the morning prayer intentions were focused on forgiving our enemies. The way they were worded in the booklet led me to a much deeper prayer.
A few years ago, I was deeply wounded by a friend. It was like a betrayal by Judas, and that's just how I felt: as if I had been stabbed with a daggar while my back was turned. It took me months of pain and prayer, and I had already come to a place where I pictured myself, like a state governor, admitting that a criminal was guilty, but pardoning him. I thought I was finished with the process.
But the way these intercessions were worded in the book --
Give peace to those who have destroyed our peace...
Grant love to those who have refused us love...
Protect from injury those who have done us injury...
Grant success to those who have worked to our loss...
Give prosperity to those who have taken what was ours...
Ack! These words on the page brought back all the feelings of the betrayal and theft, the disillusionment and heartache!
But I decided to pray for the prosperity and success of this man and his fellows who set up the betrayal!
Frankly, I was surprised, because I thought I was done with it all...but I was still staying away from places where I might see one of them. I certainly wasn't praying for their prosperity or success. But I absolutely hated having the hurt come up again. I just don't want to carry any of that any more.
My friend Kay had told me just recently that I needed to go back to the places where I could run into them, so that one of them might have an opportunity to apologize, and I realized that I am still under the situation if I am allowing it to keep me isolated.
So the other morning, I WILLED to pray that way for the people responsible for my pain. Give them prosperity and success, God. Grant them protection from the pain of betrayal. Grant them love. Grant them peace.
It was a simple act of the will. BUT I have been like a new person since! Really!
I have more energy, more enthusiasm about each day! I have found a deep JOY that I haven't had since the betrayal!!!
And I am FEELING it too. I mean, only through the grace of God, I am not holding onto the pain or anything. Through God's grace, I am MEANING it when I pray good for this person!
Yesterday I had the energy to do a little yard work, bake a double batch of muffins, do errands I had been putting off, and smile all day!
Please, my friends, if those words in the prayers above touched anything in you, DO IT! Step into this level of forgiveness and find this joy! Yesterday I prayed the Lord's prayer several times -- at Mass and in the rosary -- and each time I said:
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
I found myself smiling! Imagine You, God, forgiving me this much! Alleluia!
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