Simplicity seems to be the word lately.
Wait. Listen. Observe.
Be simple. Be humble.
Obey.
Trust.
Even at Mass, in prayer, I am trying to "do" less, and putting myself in a "receiving" mode. "Lord, here I am."
Friday at Mass, I heard one word about building bridges and reaching out, and followed the lead after Mass by calling a person who was in my heart. It was an important connection.
God saying,"Just stay in this frame of mind today. Just BE. Be receptive and responsive, but don't "try" to do things. Let Me lead. Take your eyes off yourself. Fix them on Me. Humility. Simplicity. Bring Me your broken, humbled heart. I'll lead.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Thursday, March 31, 2011
A Surprise and Secret Way to Joy
Oh my goodness!
A few days ago, in the Magnificat, the morning prayer intentions were focused on forgiving our enemies. The way they were worded in the booklet led me to a much deeper prayer.
A few years ago, I was deeply wounded by a friend. It was like a betrayal by Judas, and that's just how I felt: as if I had been stabbed with a daggar while my back was turned. It took me months of pain and prayer, and I had already come to a place where I pictured myself, like a state governor, admitting that a criminal was guilty, but pardoning him. I thought I was finished with the process.
But the way these intercessions were worded in the book --
Ack! These words on the page brought back all the feelings of the betrayal and theft, the disillusionment and heartache!
But I decided to pray for the prosperity and success of this man and his fellows who set up the betrayal!
Frankly, I was surprised, because I thought I was done with it all...but I was still staying away from places where I might see one of them. I certainly wasn't praying for their prosperity or success. But I absolutely hated having the hurt come up again. I just don't want to carry any of that any more.
My friend Kay had told me just recently that I needed to go back to the places where I could run into them, so that one of them might have an opportunity to apologize, and I realized that I am still under the situation if I am allowing it to keep me isolated.
So the other morning, I WILLED to pray that way for the people responsible for my pain. Give them prosperity and success, God. Grant them protection from the pain of betrayal. Grant them love. Grant them peace.
It was a simple act of the will. BUT I have been like a new person since! Really!
I have more energy, more enthusiasm about each day! I have found a deep JOY that I haven't had since the betrayal!!!
And I am FEELING it too. I mean, only through the grace of God, I am not holding onto the pain or anything. Through God's grace, I am MEANING it when I pray good for this person!
Yesterday I had the energy to do a little yard work, bake a double batch of muffins, do errands I had been putting off, and smile all day!
Please, my friends, if those words in the prayers above touched anything in you, DO IT! Step into this level of forgiveness and find this joy! Yesterday I prayed the Lord's prayer several times -- at Mass and in the rosary -- and each time I said:
I found myself smiling! Imagine You, God, forgiving me this much! Alleluia!
A few days ago, in the Magnificat, the morning prayer intentions were focused on forgiving our enemies. The way they were worded in the booklet led me to a much deeper prayer.
A few years ago, I was deeply wounded by a friend. It was like a betrayal by Judas, and that's just how I felt: as if I had been stabbed with a daggar while my back was turned. It took me months of pain and prayer, and I had already come to a place where I pictured myself, like a state governor, admitting that a criminal was guilty, but pardoning him. I thought I was finished with the process.
But the way these intercessions were worded in the book --
Give peace to those who have destroyed our peace...
Grant love to those who have refused us love...
Protect from injury those who have done us injury...
Grant success to those who have worked to our loss...
Give prosperity to those who have taken what was ours...
Ack! These words on the page brought back all the feelings of the betrayal and theft, the disillusionment and heartache!
But I decided to pray for the prosperity and success of this man and his fellows who set up the betrayal!
Frankly, I was surprised, because I thought I was done with it all...but I was still staying away from places where I might see one of them. I certainly wasn't praying for their prosperity or success. But I absolutely hated having the hurt come up again. I just don't want to carry any of that any more.
My friend Kay had told me just recently that I needed to go back to the places where I could run into them, so that one of them might have an opportunity to apologize, and I realized that I am still under the situation if I am allowing it to keep me isolated.
So the other morning, I WILLED to pray that way for the people responsible for my pain. Give them prosperity and success, God. Grant them protection from the pain of betrayal. Grant them love. Grant them peace.
It was a simple act of the will. BUT I have been like a new person since! Really!
I have more energy, more enthusiasm about each day! I have found a deep JOY that I haven't had since the betrayal!!!
And I am FEELING it too. I mean, only through the grace of God, I am not holding onto the pain or anything. Through God's grace, I am MEANING it when I pray good for this person!
Yesterday I had the energy to do a little yard work, bake a double batch of muffins, do errands I had been putting off, and smile all day!
Please, my friends, if those words in the prayers above touched anything in you, DO IT! Step into this level of forgiveness and find this joy! Yesterday I prayed the Lord's prayer several times -- at Mass and in the rosary -- and each time I said:
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
I found myself smiling! Imagine You, God, forgiving me this much! Alleluia!
Friday, March 25, 2011
Simple Obedience
It's been interesting since I DECIDED to change my heart! :-)
I emailed good friends to see about getting together, and before the first day was even started, another friend called to ask me to meet her at a fast food place for lunch that very day.
That afternoon, a couple young mothers at the theater started chatting, and we all went into a faith sharing moment!
The next day, a sweet mom hung around a little after dropping off her little one for class, and it happened again.
Of course, the next day Gabi's mom came in for Gabi's classes, and I had to tell her about the blog, and how Gabi inspired me. We were both close to tears with that!
God is so sweet! He asks me to do something (like just shake off the self-pity and reach out to the people you love and need) and then He gives you a hundredfold in return.
I guess the lessons are always simple. Obedience to His urgings turns into JOY. Just like little Gabi was so joy-filled when she lifted her arms that day and said "I just decided to change my heart."
That's how I feel today.
No---life is not perfect, not by a long shot, but simple obedience to His will gives such SIMPLE JOY.
Do you have a story like this?
I emailed good friends to see about getting together, and before the first day was even started, another friend called to ask me to meet her at a fast food place for lunch that very day.
That afternoon, a couple young mothers at the theater started chatting, and we all went into a faith sharing moment!
The next day, a sweet mom hung around a little after dropping off her little one for class, and it happened again.
Of course, the next day Gabi's mom came in for Gabi's classes, and I had to tell her about the blog, and how Gabi inspired me. We were both close to tears with that!
God is so sweet! He asks me to do something (like just shake off the self-pity and reach out to the people you love and need) and then He gives you a hundredfold in return.
I guess the lessons are always simple. Obedience to His urgings turns into JOY. Just like little Gabi was so joy-filled when she lifted her arms that day and said "I just decided to change my heart."
That's how I feel today.
No---life is not perfect, not by a long shot, but simple obedience to His will gives such SIMPLE JOY.
Do you have a story like this?
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I JUST DECIDED TO CHANGE MY HEART
A few weeks ago, Gabi, a wonderful five-year-old, came in the door of Stone Oak Youth Theatre. Her mom asked her if she wanted to tell us about the day.
Smiling Gabi told us a story of NOT wanting to leave the play area at McDonald's. That being an area of contention they were working on, she told us, "I just decided to change my heart. I wanted to stay and play, but I just stopped, and thought, and decided to obey."
This moment, this comment, has had my mental attention for weeks.
~~~
So yesterday, I found myself on a self-pity pot. Now that the busyness of wedding planning was behind me, I was growing more aware of my isolation from friends. I missed the prayer group friends in St Louis, I missed my ACTS sisters from St Francis. I am so busy helping Maryclaire at the theater, teaching piano lessons, taking Grandma to her things, and trying to be a good wife to Jerry. I haven't had time -- or made the time to connect with my friends.
I went into a hole, if you know what I mean. Nothing could cheer me. Jerry and I went to morning Mass, we stopped at the grocery together, I just got grumpier and sadder, even angry. I came home and lay down on the bed, almost determined to be depressed, to sleep all day, to blame the world for my loneliness.
But Gabi's words interrupted my thoughts.
"I just decided to change my heart."
I lay there a while, and let the words permeate my own heart.
I got up.
I announced it to Jerry, who was, of course, delighted. :-)
We went out for an afternoon of exploring Johnson City, something I had wanted to do for some time now.
I decided it's up to me to call people and get back into life.
I just decided to change my heart.
In Johnson City, we toured the LBJ Texas White House, and as I read museum posts, I saw LBJ himself in a different light. In the 60s many of us blamed the VietNam war on him. I had not known about his life, his lifelong commitment to civil rights and education.
That was a change of heart.
In the evening, I found myself talking to a woman who had been very cold the last time we were together. She mentioned that she had been coming down with the flu back then, and was barely functioning when I had seen her that night.
The truth changed my heart about her behavior that evening.
~~~
Little Gabi, thank you.
I never want to forget this.
It's up to me.
I just need to DECIDE to change my heart.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Saints for Friends
It's been interesting since I felt the call to befriend the saints.
First, in tidying up, I came upon an old prayer book that Pam gave me. As I browsed through it, there was a whole section of prayers to different saints. The first one I read was a prayer to the angel who comforted Jesus on the Cross. How beautiful to think of that being, full of compassion, honored to be the one chosen to minister to Jesus, his God. I thought of how that angel might be the one who comes to us when we are enduring our crosses!
For the first time, I wrapped my mind around the PERSON of that angel, and thanked him for doing that, and asked for him to help me when I need it.
Yesterday was the feast of St Scholastica, the sister of St Benedict! So I read a little about her, and remembered the Benedictine sisters who taught me in grade school. The favorite story I remember: When Benedict had his monastery, and she had her convent of sisters, they would get together to pray and talk long into the night. On one occasion, he wanted to leave and she wanted him to stay. He was strict about his needing to go back to the monastery, but she prayed that he would stay, and God sent a horrible storm so he was forced to stay and pray with her some more! Her vibrant faith and confidence startled him! I love that! It inspired me to ask her to pray for me that I would grow in confident prayer!
Today, in moving a few things around in my prayer room, I found a real treasure I had stored there. It was a copy of the words Cindy and Jim shared at Kristen's funeral. Oh my goodness. The tears flowed, the memories played like a movie...the first time Cindy brought Kristen to prayer group, the love we all had for her, the LOVE that this little girl engendered in everyone. Her life of 18 years, how her dear Lord came for her and carried her across His threshhold! And there's the saint of this day for me! I prayed and asked Kristen to pray for my family. I also see her as a saint who taught us that all life is sacred and beautiful, no matter what we DO. Her life was not DOING, but BEING, and it was holy!
So today, I ask Kristen to pray for me to learn that my value to God is not just what I do for him, but in my being. After all, He made each one of us before we DID anything. He created us simply out of LOVE. Oh, the joy of knowing she is in heaven with Him and is still deeply connected to us who loved her unconditionally. That's what I need to do with everyone, especially family -- love unconditionally, the way she inspired us all to love her!
Thanks be to God!
First, in tidying up, I came upon an old prayer book that Pam gave me. As I browsed through it, there was a whole section of prayers to different saints. The first one I read was a prayer to the angel who comforted Jesus on the Cross. How beautiful to think of that being, full of compassion, honored to be the one chosen to minister to Jesus, his God. I thought of how that angel might be the one who comes to us when we are enduring our crosses!
For the first time, I wrapped my mind around the PERSON of that angel, and thanked him for doing that, and asked for him to help me when I need it.
Yesterday was the feast of St Scholastica, the sister of St Benedict! So I read a little about her, and remembered the Benedictine sisters who taught me in grade school. The favorite story I remember: When Benedict had his monastery, and she had her convent of sisters, they would get together to pray and talk long into the night. On one occasion, he wanted to leave and she wanted him to stay. He was strict about his needing to go back to the monastery, but she prayed that he would stay, and God sent a horrible storm so he was forced to stay and pray with her some more! Her vibrant faith and confidence startled him! I love that! It inspired me to ask her to pray for me that I would grow in confident prayer!
Today, in moving a few things around in my prayer room, I found a real treasure I had stored there. It was a copy of the words Cindy and Jim shared at Kristen's funeral. Oh my goodness. The tears flowed, the memories played like a movie...the first time Cindy brought Kristen to prayer group, the love we all had for her, the LOVE that this little girl engendered in everyone. Her life of 18 years, how her dear Lord came for her and carried her across His threshhold! And there's the saint of this day for me! I prayed and asked Kristen to pray for my family. I also see her as a saint who taught us that all life is sacred and beautiful, no matter what we DO. Her life was not DOING, but BEING, and it was holy!
So today, I ask Kristen to pray for me to learn that my value to God is not just what I do for him, but in my being. After all, He made each one of us before we DID anything. He created us simply out of LOVE. Oh, the joy of knowing she is in heaven with Him and is still deeply connected to us who loved her unconditionally. That's what I need to do with everyone, especially family -- love unconditionally, the way she inspired us all to love her!
Thanks be to God!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Thoughts about asking for prayers!
This morning, as I was praying special prayers for my children, I found myself caught up in this:
me:
Lord, Abba,
You gave us the Perfect Gift in Your Son Jesus Christ!
Jesus, You gave us the Perfect Gift, the Holy Spirit to be in us and with us forever! Heaven!
Why would we hesitate to believe that ALL good things,
very small in comparison,
ALL good things--
peripheral to the ENORMOUS PERFECT GIFT
would not be given also?!
Yet You also will that we,
and the angels and saints
play a part in the goodness,
not simply sit back and watch You do it,
but we all get to play a little part in it.
I sense that as I have been praying for the family to be more tightly bonded, You are answering that prayer by changing me and giving me more unconditional love for them all. That will naturally bring us all closer.
me:
Lord, Abba,
You gave us the Perfect Gift in Your Son Jesus Christ!
Jesus, You gave us the Perfect Gift, the Holy Spirit to be in us and with us forever! Heaven!
Why would we hesitate to believe that ALL good things,
very small in comparison,
ALL good things--
peripheral to the ENORMOUS PERFECT GIFT
would not be given also?!
Yet You also will that we,
and the angels and saints
play a part in the goodness,
not simply sit back and watch You do it,
but we all get to play a little part in it.
I sense that as I have been praying for the family to be more tightly bonded, You are answering that prayer by changing me and giving me more unconditional love for them all. That will naturally bring us all closer.
God:
Learn your Father's ways,
like Jesus learning carpentry from Joseph,
and you learning from your father --
about oil wells, about snakes and spiders, about electricity and table saws, etc. From Carl, you learned to embrace it all, to fix a wall or a faucet without fear.
Well, from Me, you ALL learn My ways,
and get to participate in the love, the healings, the good works --
You pray for each other,
you stand for each other,
you serve each other,
and share faith with each other!
And you ALL continue when you enter eternity --
Constantly, you all get to continue the work of the Kingdom,
sharing, healing, helping, praying!
That's the way it goes!
That's why I want you to ask the saints on earth for prayers,
for help, for companionship.
It's all part of heaven!
And it's why I want you to ask the Saints and angels already in heaven also!
Heavenly life isn't just sitting there receiving from My Beatific Vision --
It's also giving by interceding for you all on earth.
How could you all be so filled with My Godhead,
and NOT overflow to the friends you still love on earth?
You have no idea how people in heaven have been part of blessing you all along the way. Family members who still love you from eternity, and My Mother and the saints and angels!!
Embrace them all, the way you embrace your sisters and brothers in Christ here.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
CONFIDENCE!
Yesterday morning, I received a strong message I know I am supposed to share. It began with a quote I read:
In faith, we stumble along, toward where we think we're supposed to go,
bumbling along,
and here is what's so amazing --
we end up getting where we're supposed to be.
--Anne Lamott in Traveling Mercies
It stays with me. I need to open my heart each morning to the gifts that will come during the day ahead. I vowed, with God's grace, to pay attention to what's happening in the daily events of my life, and to delight in the lovely things that will unfold.
I also see that God is taking all my loved ones and friends to exactly where He wants them too -- through all their stumbling along too. I find myself praying for you all in a different way, a more HOPEFUL way, reinforced with the truth that He's along all your journeys too! I am praying for you all, and all my family too, with a smile in my heart, SURE that He is getting all of us to where we're supposed to be!
A scripture reading yesterday was Hebrews 10:32-39. God telling us to remember that after we have been "enlightened" (for me, this is the reception of the baptism of the Holy Spirit) then we endured a great contest of suffering.
I certainly have seen this in my life! Oh my goodness, let's don't go there again! I am still not out of it.
But the reading goes on to say:
THEREFORE, do not throw away your confidence; it will have great recompense!
God added:
You need endurance in order to do My will, and receive what I promise. Hold to CONFIDENCE in My promises. Look into the future and act on THAT instead of what appears now! For after a brief moment I WILL come, I WILL NOT DELAY!
In faith, we stumble along, toward where we think we're supposed to go,
bumbling along,
and here is what's so amazing --
we end up getting where we're supposed to be.
--Anne Lamott in Traveling Mercies
It stays with me. I need to open my heart each morning to the gifts that will come during the day ahead. I vowed, with God's grace, to pay attention to what's happening in the daily events of my life, and to delight in the lovely things that will unfold.
I also see that God is taking all my loved ones and friends to exactly where He wants them too -- through all their stumbling along too. I find myself praying for you all in a different way, a more HOPEFUL way, reinforced with the truth that He's along all your journeys too! I am praying for you all, and all my family too, with a smile in my heart, SURE that He is getting all of us to where we're supposed to be!
A scripture reading yesterday was Hebrews 10:32-39. God telling us to remember that after we have been "enlightened" (for me, this is the reception of the baptism of the Holy Spirit) then we endured a great contest of suffering.
I certainly have seen this in my life! Oh my goodness, let's don't go there again! I am still not out of it.
But the reading goes on to say:
THEREFORE, do not throw away your confidence; it will have great recompense!
God added:
You need endurance in order to do My will, and receive what I promise. Hold to CONFIDENCE in My promises. Look into the future and act on THAT instead of what appears now! For after a brief moment I WILL come, I WILL NOT DELAY!
My friends, I know this is for you too! Pray with confidence! We will all end up exactly where we are supposed to be.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)